Huge-mobiles and vanity signs

I saw a license plate on a Suburban today that said "PPL4LFE", presumably "People For Life" and a pro-life statement, and it reminded me that you almost always see these kinds of morally themed vanity signs on absurdly large or otherwise wasteful vehicles. These people clearly are not receiving the message of hypocrisy they’re sending by their combination of vehicle and signage.

In my upper middle class neighborhood, large SUVs are plentiful; Suburbans and Sequoias and Escalades full of soccer moms on cell phones; and a popular adornment on these huge-mobiles are "Kids First" bumper stickers, which if they were honest would instead say "My Kids First!" The owners of these vehicles obviously thought of their own family’s convenience and safety first, and the rest of the world not at all. In fact, government statistics show that these vehicles are especially dangerous not only to the environment, but to every other vehicle out there, and the kicker is that these vehicles are not even particularly safe for the occupants as compared to say a minivan that gets twice the gas milage. Just google on "Are SUVs safer". I researched this thoroughly when my children were born and my wife currently carries our kids and their little friends in a Sienna minivan that’s one of the safest passenger vehicles ever made (for both its occupants and other vehicles) and is capable of over 25 MPG when driven gently.

Another popular adornment of these huge-mobiles is the Jesus Fish or equivalent bumper sticker, as if there were a secret gospel where Jesus exempted cars from his ideals of simple living and compassion for others. The best sticker I’ve seen was on an extra-fancy black Cadillac Escalade where the sticker said something like, "Don’t be confused by this car. My treasure is in heaven." Hilarious! And sad too.


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