Tag Archives: Love

What Is Essential Is Invisible to the Eye

Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.

The quote above is from The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint Exupéry. The best English translation I’ve found is “Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” This tattoo may well be my all-time favorite.




How would you finish this sentence?

These are my answers to:

How would you finish this sentence?

“I loved her. She loved me. She was perfect. Unfortunately, ___________”


I loved her. She loved me. She was perfect. Unfortunately, my wife found out.


I loved her. She loved me. She was perfect. Unfortunately, she was a vampire and I was a werewolf, and we were stuck in a movie so terrible, we perished from the absurdity of it all.


I loved her. She loved me. She was perfect. Unfortunately, my hard disk crashed and I lost her.

How would you finish this sentence?

Dementia Care – A Better Way

The Hogewey Dementia Village is a wonderful example of putting humanity first, before profit, before petty differences. I would love to replicate this here in the United States. Greed and tribalism is all that’s holding us back from bringing this care to the US.


I earn a good salary as an engineer and we (family of five) live comfortably on my income. We sacrifice some to live on my income, but I would gladly pay more taxes if it means:

1. Everyone can have good health care, feed their families healthy food, and live in an adequate home in an area with low crime. 
2. We fix and maintain our infrastructure and invest in a future with renewable energy and modern transit.

My wife disagrees and thinks we sacrifice enough, and the wealthy almost never pay their fair share, but I think anyone living well (not necessarily wealthy) has a responsibility to support the nation that provides so much for them. 

People are morally bound to contribute to their society according to their benefit from it. The poor benefit very little and so owe very little in return. Ideally we would create a society in which everyone benefits and is invested in maintaining and improving it. 

As it stands now, those who benefit the most generally contribute the least in return, making them parasites. The right wing loves to call people parasites, but this is largely a measure to put their opponents on the defensive and minimize the number of people who realize the right and their patrons are the real parasites. 

There’s a great quote by Jason Read floating around that describes the situation in terms of biology, in which successful parasites are not recognized as such by their host, which is exactly the case with the very wealthy in this nation. They thrive by preventing the majority from recognizing their true enemies. 


What is the most important, love or reason?

Someone posted this question on Quora and I answered it as follows:

This is a wonderful, tricky question, a paradox of sorts (as you probably realize).

Without reason, we could not ask or answer this question. Without love, we could ask or answer but would lack the drive to do so. I’m assuming you mean more than just Agape love here and include the Eros, Philia, and Storge. If you include these, then without love, there would be no motive for being. It’s love (of others, learning, self, creating, …) that drives us.

Reason provides the framework in which we create our world. Love provides the push (or pull) that keeps us moving, creating, destroying, and otherwise changing the world. Without love, we might exist and even have a reason-like framework, but we would not be alive in the same sense as a human being, driven by desire. Without reason, we might exist physically, but we would be unaware of it because we’d lack a means of creating a framework for understanding. Buddhism has something to say about this, but that’s a whole new thread … 🙂

I’d like to hear your opinions on this.

Mark Twain On Cats

“When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.”


Mark Twain was a known lover of cats. This is a common trait of geniuses. Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Albert Schweitzer, Ernest Hemingway, T.S. Eliot, … the list is long and distinguished.

There are fundamental differences between cats and dogs that explain why some of us love them so. A dog consists primarily of unconditional love and absurdity, in equal measure. His life is devoted to pleasing you and earning your company. He will often reward even the meanest person with loyalty and devotion. A cat consists of grace, cool self interest, and independence. A cat’s respect and love must be earned and maintained, which makes a cat very like an emotionally healthy human.

Ideally, a person will love both cats and dogs, but among those with a strong preference for one or the other species, there are definite tendencies. Those who desire control over others and want to feel superior tend toward dogs, while those who prefer to treat all as equals and prefer to earn the respect of all, even the non-humans among us, prefer cats. This is a generalization, and like all generalizations is not to be relied on too heavily, but I’ve found it quite accurate in practice.

My Wife and I

I just passed my wife leaving our neighborhood as I was driving home. She was waving like crazy with a big smile and I think I saw the kids waving in the back seats. I of course waved like a nut as soon as I saw that it was her.

It feels simultaneously wonderful and a little silly to wave at each other like that, but I’m glad we do. We have almost nothing in common. I’m super intellectual and she’s not at all. I like to be alone a lot with quiet and she likes company and TV. I like rough play with the kids and “scary” movies and she only likes comedy and chick flicks. I like to get up early and work a lot and she likes to sleep and work just to get stuff done. The list goes on. The one thing we’ve always had in common is our basic values, and we built up a strong tolerance for each other’s quirks and “defects” over time so that now we almost never argue (unless it’s about our teen daughter) and we are as much best friends as husband and wife. I do realize how lucky we are.

Just thought I’d share that.